You Are the Sum of the People You Surround…
You can also listen to the podcast on the following players:
Welcome to Live your Life! This is a special segment of the Big Picture Philippines podcast where we dig deep into certain topics that will help you live the best life ever!
If this is the first time you’ve listened to the show, please check the previous episodes and other interviews that we have and don’t forget to share, subscribe, and give us feedback. it will help people to discover the show and in turn, perhaps help them improve their life!
In today’s topic, I want to share about a very crucial aspect of success, happiness, and perhaps the quality of your life. No matter how hard you work, no matter how amazing you are, you will always be affected by this. It also determines how amazing your life can be if you do this tweak!
I learned this in a not so obvious way.
Back in college, I always wanted rock music and at that young age, I dreamt of becoming a rockstar, an amazing guitarist!
It was an honest dream, I thought I can do what I’m passionate about, playing original music, rock on stage, and girls will swarm at me!
Although I never became a famous rockstar, I became part of a band. I played guitar and I enjoyed it a lot.
We started to create songs but those songs were not necessarily the best songs, but we love it anyway! I am not sure if the audience even loved it as long as we rock it and we’re all good.
However, this also introduced me to a lifestyle of rock n roll.
In this certain group of people, you tend to wear black shirts, skinny jeans, you also need to act in a certain way, like say the words “preh,” rocks, and other mannerisms.
Also, it’s a must that you drink.
It’s funny how pubs pay us a set of beer to play five songs. So we play in gigs and drink all night, more often than not reaching dawn!
We also always talk about music, our next exploits, next gigs, next breaks, but in those practices and meetings, we always drink.
Nobody seems to talk about jobs, careers, and business. It was all about rock n roll.
Looking back it was crazy!
I seriously enjoyed that part of my life but it has its toll.
I start noticing that the job I have was also like 80% of the jobs of the people of my bandmates. I also noticed, our conversations were just all about this dream of making it big and of the next gig, the cycle continues, day in day out.
If you were to look at me from outside, you’ll see a life wasted.
Don’t you hate people who judge you? But looking back, I think their intentions were good and they might be actually right.
It all changed when I could no longer keep it together, my relationship ended, I had lost my job, broke, no money to pay for beer, and the vices have gotten worse…
So I decided to take a break, went to another city and live there for three months and just started anew.
I started reading books, check out seminars and joined clubs that let me meet new types of people.
As I changed my environment and changed the people I surround myself with, the better I deal with my finances, the less worried I get, and the better my plans of the future are.
And I thought initially it wasn’t just because of the people around me but it was me who’s causing it, but then again, I couldn’t have done it on my own, not with my own will power. Because when I went back and whenever people ask me to go “tagay” (drink), I’d still go on with the spree.
There I realized that I am who I hang out with.
And I’ve tested this multiple times…
I met people who travel a lot and specifically I met someone who travels solo! After hanging out with him, I became a person who travels a lot too and did my first, second, and third solo travels right after that!
I tried to hang out with people who wanted to do surfing, running, and mountain climbing. So I went learn surfing and joined camps, went running 21kms now and on my way to probably running a marathon, and was able to climb the highest peak of Luzon and later on, of the Philippines — Mount Apo!
It’s amazing how powerful this is.
And the best part is that when it comes to money, the more I spend time with entrepreneurs or people who have small businesses, the more I also learn, adapt and start. This day I have my very own business that’s earning more money!
It’s as if, success and earning a certain amount of money was a norm and it wasn’t a norm with me at all before! I mean I can survive with just 16k php of income in a month. Now, as I think of it, that’s no longer enough for investing or saving each month!
This is where I learned and truly embraced the concept that you are the sum of the people you surround with. No matter what, your environment and the people around you dictate your life. No one escapes from it.
If you really think of it, if you check on yourself and if you are someone who has good habits, then more or less your friends also have those habits.
What if, all we needed is to change the people around us and improve our friends and that’s what it all really takes to be successful? What would you do?
It’s an understatement that this idea is the best success hack I’ve encountered in my life!
If you want to give this a try or if you think you need a change of environment and want to start out, here are some steps for you.
1. List them Down
List down the people you spend the most time with. These are those who whether you like it or not you spend time with — your workmates, family, your friends.
You’ll notice that in this list, you will realize they more or less have the same lifestyle as you and probably the same income or net worth!
2. Create Your Ideal List
Second is you create your ideal list. If you want to change your life or just want to improve it, look around and list down in your circle or not, who you think will influence you to become your best version.
Of course, it all starts with knowing what you want, so check out the episode about goal setting in our Live Your Life segments in this podcast!
As long as you know what you wanted and find people who could help you become that person then all it really takes is to….
3. Set Dates
Find a way to spend time with them, may it be a phone call or an actual meeting. The goal here is to slowly make them part of your circle and turn them as close friends or confidantes.
Slowly but surely you will get results but of course, you need to be intentional with this. I know some people really evaluate their time and how much time they spent with these people. They know that they will learn a lot from their ideal list.
Take note that you may not notice changes instantly but if you join that group eventually you will notice changes. In addition, this could also be awkward at first. You may need to join groups that are weird or not resonate with you, but trust me, continue showing up, and eventually the weird feeling goes away. We tend to be afraid or scared when we try to do new things. So just keep that in mind.
So that’s it for our episode! If you apply these and if you see any changes in your life, please let me know! And share your thoughts and experience on our facebook group, The Big PIcture Ph community and as well as the 9to5 Entrepreneurs.